Rape Culture

Rather than my own ranty nonsensical post I’d worked on all day, I’m redirecting you to Lauren Nelson’s blog. In particular this post SO YOU’RE TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT “RAPE CULTURE”?

Why? Because it is important. My daughters will soon to be off at college and I resent the fact that I am compelled to teach them how to NOT GET RAPED. That should not have to be one of Momma’s little life lessons.

But it is, so there you go. Read about what “rape culture” is so you can recognize it. Women have the right to EXPECT not to get raped rather than worry about HOW not to get raped.

Men—rather than being outraged that women have the audacity to expect you not to rape them, try channeling your energies into keeping your fellow man from raping your mother, grandmother, sister, cousin, aunt, girlfriend, etc, etc…follow that old adage “If you aren’t part of the problem, be part of the solution,” instead of arguing that you poor guys are being unduly picked on, speak up against those who defile, denigrate, and demean women.

And I am not as patient or eloquent as Lauren. How she’s kept her temper with those men who tried to subvert and suppress the conversation by bringing up facts not in evidence—I’d have just kicked them off with a F**k-Y**! But she’s keeping a civil discourse going, so more power to her and boy am I impressed.

After a long week of reading way too many misogynistic, racist, crap, I’m just too pissed-off to hold my temper. It took all my self control not to enter a verbal war over some lame ass guy bringing up prison rape as a response to another conversation about the rape culture. He was adamant that there couldn’t be a conversation asking men not to rape a woman without addressing the fact that there are more men raped in this county than women. Like that has anything to do with it.

The troll was repeatedly asked to provide the data to support his assertion not just interject speculation, but refused to comply, instead remaining pious as if he was adding anything salient to the conversation. But that’s the way those with nothing to say operate. They can’t engage in the real conversation, they have no real point to make. Their only purpose is to stir ire. I find it very difficult myself to disengage from these attacks so—fair warning, you’ll have no voice here.

As it says in my Disclaimer above-if I deem your input heinous, you’ll be deleted.





  1. Thanks for sharing that article. I think it’s disgusting, frankly, that the blame is placed on the shoulders of the victims. I don’t know that it has to be an issue of women v. men. I have a male friend who was raped and he was every bit as traumatized. I think that what we need is a conversation about boundaries. My husband was raised to understand that if a woman does not utter a definitive, resounding yes, that it means no. He is appalled by the discussion, and even more by the fact that there are people attempting to find defensible points on the other side. Rape is bad. No means no. These are simple enough concepts to understand. My husband and I have come to think that this stems, in part at least, from a lack of respect for the bodies of others. Nevermind if she was unconscious. It is still her body and it is not yours to decide what should and can be done with it. That decision is hers alone. It’s maddening and frustrating and something needs to be done. I don’t have children yet, but if I am lucky enough to have any, I will teach them to respect the bodies of others as well as their own, to understand boundaries, to respect common courtesy and yes, even uncommon courtesy. The fact that we have to teach our daughters not to be raped because so many parents did not teach their sons NOT to rape is despicable.

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