Written, Not Published…Until Now

Long time no see.

Over the last two years I have composed impassioned pleas that decry the lack of justice, and have railed against the rampant ignorance of our leaders. Not that you would know. I’ve written, not published. 

Once again, I’ve shown up to write about an issue that has outraged me to the point of disbelief, but I am stopped in my tracks by the list of drafts that have never seen the light of day.  

I hadn’t realized I’d gone dark. It wasn’t a conscious decision. I have been here, written nearly a dozen posts or so – on topics you could easily guess by picking any event that has made headlines since, well…

80 Dead in France”  July 14, 2016.

That was my last post. What used to be a satisfactory end to my rampage – hitting the publish button – no longer sufficed. Nothing comes from screaming into the wind. Or does it?

Silence is Not Golden

Damn. You know that feeling when you’ve said something important that is supposed to have meaning to you? 

“Shouting into the wind” means to complain pointlessly, and posting my outrage had begun to feel just that, pointless. But, as in the immortal words of Patsy Cline, “I was sooooo wrong, for sooooo long…” 

I was wrong to stop posting.

Though writing holds a certain cathartic release, it isn’t very satisfying if no one reads it. How could anyone read it if I didn’t publish it? The solution to stop feeling like I’m shouting into the wind isn’t to shut up. 

“Anything worth shouting about is worth shouting into the wind.” Seth Godin

The solution is to give it purpose beyond my own construction of it. I have to force myself to put it out there – into the universe. Scream louder. 

But…People

The world is fraught with people who will try to shut you up no matter what you are talking about. Contrariness, just for the sake of it, is the new black. Writing about politicized subjects that are rife with emotion can invite responses you might not be ready for. 

Hell, I pissed someone off on a foodie site just asking them to be nice. What happens when I point out they’re racist, privileged, assholes? White fragility makes it difficult to confront a lot of what is wrong with our society. But, certainly not more difficult than it is to live under the oppressive systemic racism in America. I can take a few assholes disagreeing with me.

Which leaves me with the question who is going to listen to that message? The people who already agree with me? 

Will those apparently unaware of their assholiness stop spewing that shit just because I wish them to be woke to the truth of it. Why would they even be reading what I have to say? Is that who I’m trying to reach?

I wonder too, can the same be said about me? Am I just being an asshole screaming into the wind? Contrary villain to their racist values?

Opinion is Not Fact

I’m nothing, if not opinionated, but I conceded long ago – to my credit – that my opinions are not written in stone, they aren’t facts. I learn from my mistakes, I expect some of you might to. That’s what I’m aiming for.

When it comes to the rights of all, I intend to be tenacious. There is no give on this point. 

I wish I wasn’t such a hammer but subtly is an art I am unaccustomed to and ill suited for. Try as I might – even walking away from publishing –  the intensity of my feelings on the subject have not changed. I’m not being bombastic for the sake of it. This shit is important.

Reaching out to white people who may read my words and stop to consider their racial bias and white privilege, is worth every second I spend doing it. 

While my writing is not unbiased, I aim for fair-minded in the pursuit of justice for all. My raging against the current circumstances we find our country in is a necessary evil in confronting the source of those injustices. 

While I may not reach the huddled masses surrounding POTUS, I might reach you. I hope you might ponder further upon your privilege. If you do that, you might change your behavior, or notice when it effects people of color. Even better, notice when people of color are being restrained by the privilege of other white people, and call it out. Because once you notice it, once you see it for yourself, it’s hard to turn your back to it.

Maybe then you will notice when our policies are restrictive, when they impinging on personal rights and responsibilities, when they reflect, not the broad spectrum of our citizens, but that of one supremely powerful, and corrupt sector. Because, once you see it for yourself, you can’t unsee it and remain silent.

A Battle of Wills

And here we are, at the meat of it. Politicians have become master manipulators, easily swaying the vulnerable with the illusion of control and righteousness. By using citizen’s religiosity, their fears, and desperation, politicians have mined uneducated and vulnerable citizens for votes. Oh, but that’s not you? 

Go ahead, explain to me how you are not one of the mindless acolytes we see chanting at POTUS rallies. Tell me what a thoughtful voter you are and that your support hasn’t been coerced out of you by the Republican/TeaParty/Corporate Overlords. How your choices are intelligent, about policy not personality, just a matter of opinion. A difference of opinion. 

Except, we do not have a difference of opinion. What we have is a difference of willingness. 

I am not willing to let other people suffer because they have a difference of opinion with me.

You are willing to let other people suffer because they have a difference of opinion with you.

That what’s between us. Your willingness to support racism, violence, hatred, lies, scandal, corruption, sexism, oppression…I wish this were hyperbole, but it is not. If your policy choices are about constricting, restricting, and subjugating another American, you are not talking policy, you are talking fascism.

You willingly collude to withhold justice and fairness for all Americans by supporting our current POTUS and the Republican Party. In doing so, you willingly condemn our countrymen to poverty, joblessness, disease, anger, hopelessness, and despair.

You willingly supports a culture that ignores the rape, murder and disappearance of Native American women, and the murder of its black citizens. You willingly support depravity in the way our government treats human beings seeking refuge. 

You willingly accept lies and deceit coming from the White House. You willingly allow the poisoning of children in Flint Michigan. You willingly look the other way, when greed, and profiteering dooms the sick, disabled, and elderly.

You willingly voting for politicians who incite violence against anyone, for any reason, is unacceptable.

You willingly sacrificing the lives of children to protect yourself from an imaginary bogeyman, is unacceptable. People kill children with assault weapons.

I am not willing to accept any of this. How can you?

It’s Not My Way or The Highway

There is not one way to do this life thing. We come at it with differing sets of morals, values, and religions.  But what we share are societal standards, the ever changing social mores of our age. That’s the pinch point for people. Change is hard, especially when it pushes against long held beliefs. 

The basic premise of our great nation is equality. That we are all equal in the eyes of the law and government. It is because we have gone so far away from those basic tenets, that we find ourselves in turmoil. 

How can you superimpose your “right way to live” over mine, unless you believe I am your inferior? That you are “right” and I am “wrong.” 

The world should live only by your rules, your values, your morals, your religion? If you think that, truly believe that is the only truth, you are not one of us. You are not for America, or the Constitution or its principles. That is not what we do here. That is not who we are.

I am not asking you to abandon your principles, but make room for everyone to hold their own. 

If you have any understanding…even the slightest hint that you are not the holder of all answers, for all the people, then you have to concede. Your beliefs do not supersede any other human’s beliefs. Even when you don’t agree with them, you must uphold their right to have them.

How do we reconcile the need for individual choice, with living in a civil society? How do we impose a general regard for life, what is right and wrong for enough people, that it becomes a social more?

We adopt a Constitution that frames those exact circumstance. We live by its tenets, and when it doesn’t work for all, when an injustice arises, we amend it. 

Government for and of the People

Oh wait…we did that. What our Constitution does, is try to equitably disrupt our human inclinations, our quest for power and control, our imposing of the masses will on the minority.

For too long our political parties have been using the baser inclination of fear to control people. This goes against the intent of our constitution and against the idea that people should be free to make their own choices as to how to live a moral life. 

What it comes down to is personal responsibility. A responsibility not only of actions, and inactions, but interactions. It is that personal responsibility that keeps the checks and balances of our government working in proper order. Or it used to.

We are currently suffering a dearth of personal responsibility. One often hears Republicans and the religious right, suggesting that the lack of personal responsibility mires people in poverty and lesser circumstances.  The reality is people pointing fingers at those with the least power as the source of their own problems…100% of the time, is a ruse to hide their own culpability. It is Oz hiding behind the curtain afraid you’ll find out he’s a fraud. 

And that is what our current POTUS is, a fraud, along with all the other Republicans standing behind him. If the government for the people is not taking care of its people, and is only taking care of itself, it is bereft of responsibility to its duty.

How are a bunch of rich, white, men, who are willfully taking away our rights to a government for the people, demonstrating personal responsibility? If they are passing laws that restrict an individual’s freedom, doing away with restrictions on corporations, forcing those in crisis to suffer more, giving to the rich at the expense of our economy, how are they demonstrating their personal responsibility to our nation, to our government, to our Constitution?

Despite All Evidence

I explained to a friend my conundrum. How can I keep writing about facts that hurt Americans when people claim they are a difference of opinion? She pointed out the problem.

Facts don’t matter. You can’t argue with someone who can’t be swayed by fact. You can’t find a compromise with someone who isn’t willing to concede your side is valid. We are in the age of deniers.

Despite any and all evidence, they will not bend to any truth. They decide by personal opinion and “belief.” They are the epitome of “I think, therefor I am right.”

I came full circle back to, “Is this me?” I can hold a hardline and be unyielding in my opinion, true. But do I ignore evidence to the contrary and turn a blind eye to evidence disputing my “facts?”

I don’t think so, but, we all tend to be blind to our personal foibles. So if I’m wrong, if evidence to the contrary appears, I’m open to learning and changing. 

If You Aren’t Part of the Solution, You’re Part of the Problem

My hope, what I’m choosing to believe…is that despite all evidence to the contrary, you–America–are willing to change too. Until then…

The facts in evidence are…We are a racist country run by rich, white men who don’t give a crap about anything but making a buck at the expense of those deemed unworthy…ie women, people of color, nature, basically anyone or anything they can exploit.

And I’m going to keep calling you out on your part of it until I don’t have to anymore.

Racism: Police Need Us

This is not an anti-police rant, nor an indictment of the brave men and women who serve our communities with honor, kindness, and empathy.

This is about racism.

The Police Need Us, as Much as We Need Them

This is also a plea to my fellow White-Americans. 

The police need our help. Racism is preventing them from doing their job.

They need help to put an end the systematic racism that is taking the lives of our fellow citizens of color.

They need help disrupting the racist system that criminalizes being a person a color.

They need help standing up to the racist system that fails over and over again to protect and serve the communities they are tasked with keeping safe.

The good ones, the good cops are in an impossible situation. They rely on a system and a group of people that is wrought with racism and corruption.

These good cops take seriously the oath they swore to uphold.

It likely read something like this, “The Law Enforcement Oath of Honor is recommended as by the International Association of Chiefs of Police as symbolic statement of commitment to ethical behavior. ”

On my honor,
I will never betray my badge1,
my integrity, my character,
or the public trust.
I will always have
the courage to hold myself
and others accountable for our actions.
I will always uphold the constitution2
my community3 and the agency I serve. 

The IACP goes on to explain what officers must understand before taking that pledge…

Honor means that one’s word is given as a guarantee.
Betray is defined as breaking faith with the public trust.
Badge is the symbol of your office.
Integrity is being the same person in both private and public life.
Character means the qualities that distinguish an individual.
Public trust is a charge of duty imposed in faith toward those you serve.
Courage is having the strength to withstand unethical pressure, fear or danger.
Accountability means that you are answerable and responsible to your oath of office.
Community is the jurisdiction and citizens served.

Sadly, many have not lived up this pledge. And it is up to us to help them do so. As a whole, white American needs to ask…how can we assist law enforcement in eradicating racism’s hold on the police community?

A Call to Arms Against Racism

Officers in many communities have lost the trust, admiration and goodwill of the people they serve. Yet, we still call on them. We expect them to show up when needed and for a majority of the nation they do.

But, it is time for us to show up for them.  

While I believe that those who serve with honor, and courage hold themselves accountable to the tenets of the Constitution, their community and the agencies they serve, and that they deserve our support and respect, I can’t always tell them apart from the bad guys. Can you?

I can only imagine how impossible it must be from their perspective. To be reliant on, to trust their very lives to those they serve with, those who are not worthy of the badge, or the job. 

I imagine it feels impossible to fix from within. I try hard to keep that in mind when yet another citizen of color is unjustifiably killed or brutalized.

I try to understand when they support and close ranks around their brothers and sisters in blue, they need them. Out in the community, they are outnumbered.

There will be more, have been more, senseless violence since I first began to write this, violence against people of color, and against the police. It will not stop on its own.

If Not Us, Then Who?

There will be more marches, riots, petitions, articles, charges…but few if any convictions of the officers perpetrating these acts. No convictions, even after all the evidence is presented. No convictions by judge or jury. Just another officer gone free of the repercussions of their actions. Merely because they are officers, not because they weren’t guilty.

We need conviction. The conviction that these killers will no longer serve our communities. The conviction to end racial profiling. The conviction from cities and towns to hold their police departments accountable. The conviction of communities that all members will be treated justly by its government…and that means the white community stepping up and speaking out.

People of color are not culpable in their own victimization, nor should they be the ones held responsible for trying to solve it. We, the white community are those who need to step in to stop this.

White is Mighty…Racist

It is not the responsibility of the black community to keep fighting for their right to walk the street, drive a car, or shop in stores without being profiled. It is the white community that needs to hold its own self up for scrutiny and demand better of itself and our police forces.

It is the white community that needs to intercede not only in the policing policies affecting our community but in all government agencies and business. To demand a level playing field, counterbalancing inequities that have long repressed the black community. The entirety of the white community needs to be reminded of their responsibility to the rest of the America.

I don’t believe you lack integrity or courage, but you have been largely silent on this White America. Those wrong headed memes screaming “Police Lives Matter” or “All Lives Matter,” are indicative of misunderstanding what “Black Lives Matter” truly means.

If you are still on that bandwagon you have a ways to go before you can help out the police. Check yourself. You are seriously misrepresenting the people you think you are speaking up for.

It is the lack of accountability for their actions that allows bad cops to get away with murder. It is our not holding them accountable that allows it to continue to cost people of color their lives.

One Nation, Indivisible, with Liberty, and Justice, for All.

Until the white community stops using its privilege to ignore the atrocities being committed against people of color,

Until the white community stops being more afraid of being called a racist than being a racist,

Until all are seen as human, and not valued or demeaned for the color of their skin, will we be free of the scourge that is racism and have a law enforcement community that everyone can trust and rely on. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

80 Dead in France: Anger to Hate

80 dead in France. Another, I was going to say senseless tragedy, but the fact is this action made sense to someone. Not to me, not to you, but SOME ONE thought it made sense to kill those they hated.

Killing families, children? And likely someone helped him find the sense in it. What was it? Religious zealotry? Misplaced nationalism?

I’m sure we’ll be hearing more about it over the coming days, the killer’s excuse, his mission. Was he mentally ill? A sociopath? Was he acting alone?

Do any of these killers act alone? There’s a lot of anger in our world. Anger that is fanned until it is a burning hate.

How Hate Thrives

Appallingly, here in the USA, we have politicians and a political party that inflames crowds into supporting this kind of vileness as a strategy. We have media outlets perpetuating it, and encouraging members of our society to despise one another for our differences. They make hate a headline, poking at embers till they roar again and throw another log/lie on to keep it going.

Hate is running rampant through our populace weakened by poverty, and isolationism created by corporate greed and political complicity. Business and government, rather than valuing its workers or citizens, uses them for their own gain then discards them.

They’ve stolen the middle class, and driven more, and more families into poverty leaving a lot of people with nothing else to do but channel their anger. And where is it channeled, and by who? Right where the wealthy and powerful have laid their kindling.

Who is behind the propaganda on issues such of abortion, religion, and race? If fuel is being added to the fires on these volatile issues it is the 1% who paid for it. They are no different from worst dictators and regimes in the world that uses the disenfranchised to do their dirty work.

They’ve fostered a vast wasteland of ignorance across our country. Those who want nothing but control and authority without any duty and allegiance to those they repress. Keep em stupid. These agents of financial totalitarianism bankrupted our goodwill toward all, and have left The United States of America divided, racially, financially, and morally for the convenience of deflecting the hate that should rightfully be aimed at them.

We Can Be Angry Without Hate

How do we fight that? Casting your vote is essential. Using your words to spread peace, and understanding. Be seen–your presence is a powerful indication of an issues importance. Practice mindfulness. Notice those suffering, as well as those acting with disregard for our nation’s best interest. Seek justice for all.

Value reason, kindness, inclusion, respect, empathy, and education

We cure the hate, the divisiveness, and the regime of oppression, by acting together. The police are not the only ones able to protect and serve our fellow citizens. As they work to improve relations between themselves and the communities they serve, so should we.

We are not a more racist country now, than we were before the recent events. It is the voices of division that have been amplified not multiplied. Do not lose faith in our country. There is so much to do and it isn’t happening fast enough. ‪#‎BlackLivesMatter‬ is a convocation. A call for all to see and notice an injustice. It is not a restriction of concern for others.

Reject the tolerance of hate speech. And when those speakers inevitably decry their right to say what they want–agree. Yes, free speech, your speech, is a protected right. You, however, are not protected from the repercussions of that speech. Suffering the consequences of your words and actions is what we teach toddlers, isn’t it about time you learned that lesson?

These killers of our loved ones, our families, our neighbors, for whatever reason, thought their actions made sense. We have to stop letting killing one another make sense to anyone.

Online: Be Yourself not Anonymous

I don’t know about you, but when I see a comment by “Anonymous” I automatically discount its worth. If you don’t value your time and words enough to put your name to them then why bother? Online: Be yourself not anonymous is what I’ve always believed, until I began thinking in earnest about marketing.

Accountability

I believe to achieve online equanimity, one’s words need the check of accountability provided by owning up to your actual identity. While this is true in theory, does it hold up when viewed under the lens of marketing scrutiny. Whether you’re selling a product or yourself – for what is our online community but one big concession stand – does anonymity hurt or help sales?

Authentic, But At What Cost?

What began as a reflection on the troubling vileness of comments left by incognito voices, has morphed into a marketing inquiry. If you’ve read any of my political posts you’ll have noticed I don’t shy away from expressing my opinion. I aim to be authentic, but at what cost?

Possibly, my true self may offend readers, does that mean I am sacrificing a potential sale? As I seek to publish, should I be more mindful of how my personal views influence the buying power of the public. Should I rescript my views whenever I blog, tweet or post to be more palatable?

Consider this—isn’t it equally important to be yourself when you are your own brand and sole proprietor of your business? Should you be an edited, fictitious, more marketable you? How much of yourself can you reveal before you risk repelling clients, customers, or readers with your personal views or politics? What about when those views have nothing to do with your product or business?

Boycott, Protest, and Media Blitzes

We’ve seen what can happen to a company that supports political candidates or issues that don’t comply with the social mores of its customer base. Calls for a boycott, protest, or media blitz are broadcast, and make headlines, but what results from these? Is it, any publicity is good publicity? Or are these actions detrimental enough to the bottom line to influence a business’s polices?

Should companies acquiesce to the demands of its patron’s or stand strong in its convictions? Does it depend on what stance, or policy the company is imposing? Are they speaking for themselves or the company? Do their politics affect their employees directly or restrict their employees autonomy? 

How deep do you dig into a company’s missions statement before you buy their product or services?

What Do My Values Say About Me As a Customer?

I admire how some companies have handled these uproars. Much to their credit, JCPenney stood firm in its support of choosing Ellen Degeneres, an openly gay woman, as its spokesperson despite some hater’s protests. And Target’s protection of a transgender persons’s right to choose their own identity and bathroom usage was admirable. I promptly made purchases at both establishments in solidarity.

However, I have often shied away from buying anything at Target because of its refusal to implement policy protecting women from a pharmacist personal views and judgement. Here is where I think the line is as to whether a company or individual can impose its values and morals on another.

A pharmacist, because of their intimate knowledge of your medical decision (by way of a prescription) is obligated to maintain your privacy. When they refuse to fill a prescription that goes against their own morals, they are crossing the line into patient/doctor confidentiality. An intrusion that is becoming more and more common as politicians seek to legislate controls over how and what women do to their bodies.

Then there is the other side of the spectrum. When Chick-Fil-A funded anti-gay groups I boycotted them. When Hobby Lobby purporting to hold it’s anti-abortion, anti-contraception ideals as sacred religious rights to the point of taking it to the Supreme Court, but were in fact, heavily invested in those products through their company financial holdings, and made a lot money doing it, I vowed never to shop there. Theirs was an astounding hypocrisy, yet not shocking given how white corporate America behaves these days.

Clearly, my values say a lot about me as a customer and, influence my purchasing decisions. I can’t expect others to not be influenced by what they value when deciding whether or not to do business with me or anyone else. 

A company that tries to rule over your personal life and demands conformity to their standard is one I’d try not to do business with. I think it is wrong for a company’s values to supersede employees or a customer’s rights. It’s that line of infringement that is the litmus test.

Does expressing my political views impinge on another’s rights? No. They might not agree, or like what I say, but I have no power over their ability to make value judgement of their own. They aren’t restricted by my views. Despite my fight to stop the sale of assault weapons, I would not bar a Republican, anti-abortionist, NRA card holder from buying my books because they have different values from I. 

How Much Virtue is Too Much Virtue?

Do you as a consumer consider a company or individuals politics, values, or religion before making a purchase? Do you have a list of companies you won’t do business with because of their carbon foot print or quality of life standards for workers? Do you make a purchase anyway if your wants or needs of a product countermand your convictions against the companies policies?

Does a company like Chick-fil-A, whose religious agenda is clearly and proudly part of their companies purpose statement— “To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us.” —risk losing customers that don’t support their views? Or do people just not care when it comes to filling their bellies?

I will never eat at Chick-fil-A. Not because of their religious affiliation, I support them holding to their faith and values, and find many of their charitable initiative admirable, the exception is when they infringing on the rights of others. And since their company donations support anti-same-sex marriage endeavors, they have crossed the line.

How much virtue is too much virtue is in the eye of the beholder. Decide what you value, read widely about the companies you frequent and shop accordingly. How deep your research goes, and whether or not you strictly adhere to these self-imposed guidelines is on your conscious, not mine. 

 Being A Writer Means You are a Business

What does this mean for me, a blogger, sole proprietor, a writer who one day hopes to sell a few novels? Or you, the account exec who secretly writes a popular romance series of novels, or the middle school teacher who is a skilled erotica poet and earns half her salary in affiliated links?

It means you are a business and responsible for the bottom line. How closely you aline your business with your personal morals is another decision you have to make as an entrepreneur.

A secret identity to sell your wares in some instances is commonsense. A secret identity to be ugly, repressive, and argumentative is not. Hiding your identity to promote an agenda that is counter to your public face is subterfuge.

Be Yourself Not Anonymous

I started this post because I wondered, does transparency makes for better discussions? My want of openness is not a call for any person’s voice to be muted but rather a plea for clarity, civility and consciousness.

Being yourself online is hard, but if it can cure what infects the comment sections all over the internet, wouldn’t it be worth it? While (evidently) it may not keep me you from embarrassing myself yourself, I believe it does more to keep one honest and reflective than hiding behind the mask of anonymity.

Anonymity’s danger is it give one a false sense of entitlement to say whatever one wants. Aside from the few instances when this is a necessity to protect yourself from harm, it seems to me that we’d be better off without the ability to hide from ourselves or others.

Like the rules we set for our children when teaching them personal responsibility online “Never say online what you wouldn’t say to someones face or their mother.” That’s what I taught my children, and I’m determined to adhere to this maxim myself. Even as a business entity, I feel a responsibility to be open about who I am and what I believe.

I am Always Me

I can’t say I’ve never commented online under another name, but I have never done so to be dishonest. I am always me, and I believe it keeps me from saying much of what needn’t be said, out loud, to anyone. Though I do not shy away from expressing my opinion, I’m learning to temper it with an understanding of how it reflects on me.

That’s why I promise to always be me online. When I find my message or responses becoming vitriolic I know I need to step back and let my anger abate. If the message is still something I need to express, if the anger is justified and makes sense after I’ve cooled, then I’m prepared to stand behind my words, but I intend to be responsible for what I say and I hope you’ll hold me accountable for it too.

Freedom of speech is not freedom from accountability. You should have to own up to what you say, write or preach. whether you are an individual or a corporation.

P.S. I update and rework this post off and on as I reevaluate and need to clarify what I’m thinking. Many news items since I began have felt like prescient warning of the impact imposing ones values on others have. 

Given the results of Donald Sterling’s deservedly quick and complete ousting from NBA (just the beginning of a spate of business leaders being held accountable for their racist, and/or sexist remarks and behavior),  an the Hobby Lobby court case, the insistence that everyone conform to personal values not their own is a tough sell even when you share some of those values. 

The one guideline I keep coming back to is, how and when you stand up for what you believe in should be determined not just by your personal moral compass but whether or not it restricts others from following their own. 

 

 

 

 

 

Rape Culture

Rather than my own ranty nonsensical post I’d worked on all day, I’m redirecting you to Lauren Nelson’s blog. In particular this post SO YOU’RE TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT “RAPE CULTURE”?

Why? Because it is important. My daughters will soon to be off at college and I resent the fact that I am compelled to teach them how to NOT GET RAPED. That should not have to be one of Momma’s little life lessons.

But it is, so there you go. Read about what “rape culture” is so you can recognize it. Women have the right to EXPECT not to get raped rather than worry about HOW not to get raped.

Men—rather than being outraged that women have the audacity to expect you not to rape them, try channeling your energies into keeping your fellow man from raping your mother, grandmother, sister, cousin, aunt, girlfriend, etc, etc…follow that old adage “If you aren’t part of the problem, be part of the solution,” instead of arguing that you poor guys are being unduly picked on, speak up against those who defile, denigrate, and demean women.

And I am not as patient or eloquent as Lauren. How she’s kept her temper with those men who tried to subvert and suppress the conversation by bringing up facts not in evidence—I’d have just kicked them off with a F**k-Y**! But she’s keeping a civil discourse going, so more power to her and boy am I impressed.

After a long week of reading way too many misogynistic, racist, crap, I’m just too pissed-off to hold my temper. It took all my self control not to enter a verbal war over some lame ass guy bringing up prison rape as a response to another conversation about the rape culture. He was adamant that there couldn’t be a conversation asking men not to rape a woman without addressing the fact that there are more men raped in this county than women. Like that has anything to do with it.

The troll was repeatedly asked to provide the data to support his assertion not just interject speculation, but refused to comply, instead remaining pious as if he was adding anything salient to the conversation. But that’s the way those with nothing to say operate. They can’t engage in the real conversation, they have no real point to make. Their only purpose is to stir ire. I find it very difficult myself to disengage from these attacks so—fair warning, you’ll have no voice here.

As it says in my Disclaimer above-if I deem your input heinous, you’ll be deleted.