Unanswerable Questions

Hello friends, family and other interested parties.

It’s been a while. Mainly because nothing much had been happening on the cancer front. No news is good news as they say. But that’s all changed this week.

Quick Recap: Tumors are measured and given an aggregate number that reflects negative, positive or no change. Every CT I’ve had over the last few months has shown a “major shift,” meaning I was in the negative numbers. My tumors were shrinking. Yahoo.

If you’ve been here from the beginning you may recall that when I was first diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer (6/2019), the retina specialist broke the news by saying “I have good new and other news.” Which has become the family’s way of comically imparting important information.

Brace yourselves, I have good news and other news.

The good news – I do not have a brain tumor.

The other news – I do have several lesions on my skull inside the dura (the first layer between the skull and brain). There are also a scattering of questionable spots on my liver.

The unanswerable questions are many, but there are general assumptions we can make.

Over the last fourteen weeks I have undergone two, total hip replacements. The right hip, fourteen weeks ago in August, and the left, six weeks ago in October. Both were necessary to my quality of life and I am 100% happy with my decision to have them done. However, there may have been serious consequences as they required my going off my cancer medications for ten days each time.

When I made the decision it was with the full knowledge that I was risking losing control over cancer growth if my medication failed. The problem of course is that I wouldn’t know that until there was cancer growth. And, I would never know if going off the meds were the trigger.

Cancer meds randomly stop working all the time. As I am on three medications, it is also possible that only one of them has stopped working because maddeningly, I still had negative growth in previous tumors even as I had new one develop on my skull.

I am now off all drugs and out of the trial that was at least partially working, and have to start all over, hoping another cocktail of meds will have as much success.

This week, I met with my oncologist to go over my options. I could take the regularly prescribed treatment of approved drugs. I could try chemotherapy (neither of us thought that was a great idea). Or, I could volunteer for another study. There happen to be four I am eligible to join.

I believe in the importance of research and clinical trials, and though being a participant has risks, I am willing to take them. My cancer has no cure, but every step we take, any information gathered, makes it possible for the next women in the cycle to live longer or have a better quality of life than the last. It is why I am still here. It maybe what saves my daughters one day.

It will be a few weeks before I know which study I’ll be participating in because my cancer needs to be retyped and tested for new genetic markers, or mutations. I have PIK3, a mutation that is common in breast, liver and colorectal cancers. That is what the drug palbociclib was treating, one of the three I was taking (you know those annoying Ibrance commercials? “I’m living with metastatic breast cancer…”).

Speaking of retyping, that is one of the other possible causes of my medications failing. If my tumors are no longer ER+ (estrogen positive) then the medications I take that target that feature won’t work.

Speaking of not working, guess what else doesn’t work? My left knee. There was already a plan to undergo a total knee replacement in the spring once the Covid craziness died down, but since I announced I was going off my meds, both daughters, my husband, and my physical therapist all enthusiastically proclaimed it a great time to get my knee replaced.

Sure, sure, on paper it makes sense. Once I start on a new drug trial I will not go off it again, making it likely that I will suffer with the pain and debilitating effects of arthritis in my knee for the rest of my life. My daughters are still home and able to care for me, drive me to app’t and keep me from going stir crazy during the remainder of this pandemic. And in order to get full use of my spankin new hips (which may have cost me a few years of my life) a new knee is a must to keep recovery moving forward. Otherwise, I can’t progress to walking at least a mile, my modest goal for undergoing the surgery.

But seriously??? Another major surgery (scheduler just called, it’s on the books for Dec 8th. I wish it was a week earlier) so soon after having just had two of them fourteen, and six weeks ago??? Okay, it’ll be seventeen and nine by then, but still!

Easy for everyone else to say it’s a great idea when they aren’t the ones getting all drugged up on narcotics, suffering the fun constipating effects, along with dopey, brain fog that comes with it. Having to ask everyone to do nearly everything for you, and feeling like a pest. And I swear, if one more person mentions that knee surgery is more painful than hip surgery, and the recovery is longer and more painful too – I will demonstrate said pain on their ass.

Bluster aside, I am grateful. I had a good run with medications I tolerated with minor side effects for sixteen months and I still have options. That’s a hell of a lot more than many women get.

I’m being treated at what is arguably the best hospital in the nation by the leading researchers in their fields. I have two new hips that work, and are nearly pain free. I had relatively quick recoveries with the help of a team of very kind home care nurses, and physical therapists. Not to mention my devoted family and cadre of faithful friends.

I’ll post more when I know more.

Don’t let the unanswerable question in life get you down or drive you crazy. That’s what politics is for.

Love to all,

Lynne

Comments

  1. Steven Morgan says

    Lynne, you are always in my prayers. You’ll get through this like you’ve gotten through everything else.

    Steven Morgan

  2. Glad for the good news, not so much for the other. I just appreciate the openness with which you share your story. What you are doing is valiant in terms of helping the future. Peace and healing.

  3. Donna Childs says

    Lynne–

    Thank you for being an amazing cheerleader for all of us. It’s our turn to cheer you on. You amaze me with your inner strength and optimism. Much love to you and your family.

    Donna Childs

  4. Lynne Marie Den…Favreau… I love you and you most definitely are Wonder Woman.
    Thank you!

  5. Sharon Fradette says

    Lynne – you are one of the most amazing women that I know. I keep you in my prayers daily and send you cocoons of angels to be with you. Your resilience and attitude inspires me. Strength and blessings!

    Namaste
    Sharon

  6. Nancy Langmeyer says

    Love your written words here…Thank you for sharing in such clarity. I am in awe of your resilience! And cheers to whatever decision you make!

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